Lovebug
by librastar
Summary: "So let me get this straight." Pakkun's sleepy eyes were wide open with disbelief. "You're going to be her boyfriend for a week?" "Just a make-believe one," he retorted snappishly. "Until Shizune can come up with a counter-jutsu." Not all jutsus need a counter-jutsu and not all happy endings can only be found in fairy-tales. KakaSaku, GenShi.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** As always, I can't claim credit for the wonderful world of Naruto because all characters, places and references are the copyright of the genius that is Masashi Kishimoto, and everything else is simply a figment and work of my imagination.

**A/N: **It's been a while since I wrote some good old fashioned rom-com fluff and this idea popped into my head after reading Rock Lee's Springtime of Youth Chapter 22: Icha Icha Kiss-kiss Cutesy Lovey-Dovey Cuddly Heart Throb. Various pairings: KakaSaku, GenShi

**Lovebug **

**Chapter 1 **

"Tiger – Ram - Ox."

A faint red glow surrounded the scroll, the 'Ai' kanji in the middle glowing so brightly the entire flaxen surface seemed to have caught fire, shimmering and dazzling red-gold before suddenly fading into nothingness, leaving the small room shrouded in near darkness again.

Adjusting the small wax stump that was all that remained of her last candle, Shizune straightened and wiped her sweaty brow with a relieved sigh. "Phew, I didn't realise it had gotten so late. Thank Kami that was the last seal sequence. Now, if this little thing works just the way Kurenai said it should, by this time tomorrow I'll have him eating out of my hand!" A mischievous giggle quite unlike her usual stoic self escaped as she started carefully rolling up the small flaxen scroll.

"There you are, Shizune-senpai!"

Startled at the sudden click as the door opened, Shizune dropped the scroll that had been loosely gripped in her right hand. Feeling a small flurry of panic, the dark-haired medic watched in horror as the small scroll teasingly rolled away from the table, landing tantalisingly out of reach and just before the sandaled-foot of a puzzled Haruno Sakura.

"Eh, what's this?"

Before Shizune could call out a warning, her pink-haired kohai had already picked it up and spread it open. Almost instantly, the scroll emitted a faint crimson glow similar to the one it had given out earlier and an odd, glazed expression flashed across Sakura's startled green eyes before disappearing as soon as it had come.

Shock paralysed her limbs.

Sakura remained motionless for a few more seconds, before slowly blinking. "That felt…odd. What just happened?"

A feeling of dread was beginning to settle in the dark-haired medic's stomach. "Ahaha, it's nothing much Sakura-chan," she laughed, trying to cover up the sinking feeling. Snatching the scroll from her still-stunned colleague's hands, she quickly pocketed it. "Just a little joke scroll Anko gave me that she's planning to use on Iruka. It ah…lights up when you open it."

"Okay." Sakura was still squinting suspiciously at the spot where the scroll had been mere seconds ago.

Another knock sounded on the door. Instinctively, Shizune turned her head to see who the newcomer was.

"Sumimasen, Shizune. But Hokage-sama was asking urgently for you…"

With a gasp of horror, Shizune suddenly realised that Sakura had also turned to look at the shinobi who had just entered the room.

As the two shinobi locked gazes, a red spark seemed to flash across the pinkette's eyes and Shizune suddenly felt her growing dread crystallise into one of all-encompassing terror.

* * *

**EARLIER THAT WEEK**

"I'm a failure, Kurenai," Shizune mumbled incoherently, downing half the sake bottle in one go as the brunette genjutsu user watched, stunned. Hiccupping loudly, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "Thirty-five years old and still unmarried. And I promised Uncle Dan I would give him a couple of grand-nephews to remember him by!"

Kurenai exchanged a helpless look with Anko; the tokubetsu jonin merely rolling her eyes at the drunken display of emotion before them. It wasn't often they managed to get Shizune down to The Dancing Shinobi with them, and Kurenai was just beginning to remember just why they usually didn't want to. She patted her fellow jonin sympathetically. "You still have some way to go to match Tsunade's record," she tried to joke, firmly but gently nudging the sake bottle away from the inebriated medic.

Shizune buried her head in her voluminous black kimono sleeves, thumping her fists wildly on the table top and causing Anko to frantically make a grab for all the shaking glasses and bottles. "Kuso!" she cursed, as a glass to her far left wobbled violently before crashing down onto the floor.

"All I ever wanted was to make jonin, and to have a nice husband and two pretty kids. Is that too much to ask for?" came the muffled wail. "I never had big dreams to become Hokage, or to become a hero…" she made another wild swipe for the sake bottle but Kurenai was faster. "Never had plans to reinvent the kunai or make the centre-spread of Shinobi Weekly. All I wanted was to become just like you." She raised her bleary, alcohol-glazed eyes towards her.

"Me?" The ruby-eyed genjutsu mistress shared another half-amused, half-exasperated look with Anko, the latter merely raising a sardonic eyebrow in response. "Geez, she's almost as bad as Gai."

Shizune gave another drunken slur. "I knew I should have sat next to Asuma at the Academy instead of Ibiki…I knew no good would come out of a guy who wore all-black and had an unhealthy obsession with mental torture at the age of SEVEN. I knew…" She hiccupped loudly again.

"Well," Kurenai winked slyly at both kunoichi. "I can't claim all credit for myself. I did have a little helping hand along the way."

"From what? A lighter?" Anko sniggered.

Smirking, she placed a finger on her lips. "I actually got the idea from Rin. Remember how she used to be crazy about Kakashi?"

"An understatement to say the least," Anko snorted. "The girl actually _read_ Icha Icha just so that she would have something to say to him!"

Kurenai continued. "Well, it was actually her idea to use a love jutsu."

The purple haired tokubetsu jonin made another scoff of derision. "You're kidding me."

"I swear it upon the heads of Hokage Mountain."

Anko's mouth dropped open.

Kurenai smiled. "We actually found the formulae for the jutsu in the Konoha Library. It's called the 'Love-at-First-Sight' technique. It's a jutsu that causes anyone to fall in love with the first person he or she sees as soon as they're exposed to the jutsu!"

Anko gave another snort. "That's ridiculous. No jutsu in this world can manufacture feelings or love, no matter how much we wish they could. If it was so easy, nobody would ever have to go through the whole bullsh*t of falling in love."

The jonin gave Shizune a conspiratorial wink. "Don't be so sure about that."

* * *

It hadn't been terribly difficult to find the book containing the 'Love-at-First-Sight' technique. Lurking in a bright corner of the 'Children's' section, Shizune tried to ignore the weird looks she was sure Iruka was giving her as she nonchalantly dusted it off the shelf before fleeing to a more private corner to read.

_Love_, she read, tracing her thumb over the red and orange kanji that dotted the page, the bright colours and cheery pictures guiltily nagging her that this book was probably meant for impressionable and naïve kunoichi aged twelve and below, not single and jaded kunoichi aged thirty-five and above; _is one of the most basic emotions that humans cannot live without. Everybody dreams of falling in love and finding their one true lov…_

"What are you reading?"

"Aheeeeee!" Shizune nearly jumped three feet in the air, as she struggled with the dual challenge of trying not to fall over in shock and frantically slamming the book on love jutsu shut.

Shiranui Genma chuckled, twirling the senbon between his lips casually. "Did I scare you?"

Although her cheeks were probably now an unflattering shade of neon pink, she couldn't help giving an annoyed huff. Her heart was beating a tattoo on her chest, running mad circles around and around. _Calm down_, she hissed at her inner self. _You are a mature, grown-up woman of thirty-five, not a 10 year-old pre-genin swooning over her first crush. Oh, of all the people that had to pass by, why did it have to be…?_

Undeterred, the bandanna-wearing shinobi merely gave another chuckle. "Sorry, it's just that you looked so intense I couldn't help but feel curious about what you were reading. Mind if I take a look?"

"NO!" she yelled instinctively.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're touchy today."

Covering her mouth at her reflexive outburst, Shizune tried to cover her increasingly scatty thoughts with whatever semblance of dignity she had left. Stammering, she replied, "This is a uh…top-secret jutsu that Tsunade has asked me to research. No one but the Hokage and uh…myself are allowed to see it." The pink patches on her cheeks glowed even brighter with her obvious lie.

Thankfully, he didn't pursue it. "Sure," he shrugged, sticking his hands back into his trouser pockets. "Anyway, I have to go. Kasumi is waiting for me."

A surge of jealousy shot through her, but she faked a casual laugh. "Another one of your weekly conquests, or a mission?"

Surprisingly, it was the Hokage guard's turn to look slightly embarrassed. "Oh no," he smiled, scratching the back of his head in a slightly adorable show of awkwardness. "She claims I promised to take her out for lunch weeks ago so she's come to collect on her promise. I'll see you around, Shizune. Ja ne!"

As she caught a glimpse of Kasumi's brown curls waiting for him at the entrance, she looked at the book and back to the entrance.

And made her decision.

* * *

If only she could dismiss everything as nothing but a bad dream.

But the longer she stood there staring at Sakura, the more the reality of the mess she had gotten herself into was starting to sink in.

Kakashi was utterly bewildered at the scene before him, but he coughed softly. "Sumimasen, Shizune. But Hokage-sama has an urgent mission for you." He reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a red-sealed scroll. "Aoba's team are in pretty bad shape up in Kumo and she wants you to head the rescue squad."

Willing herself out of the daze she had been beginning to sink into, the jonin medic quickly shot back. "What, now?!"

Kakashi gave her another odd look. "They are in pretty dire straits," he said baldly. The shinobi was feeling slightly confused and more than a touch irritated. Why was she reluctant to leave? It wasn't like Shizune to delay when her comrades were in obvious danger.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around his waist. "Kakashi-sensei," a voice purred next to his ear, warm breath sending shivers down the back of his neck.

The silver-haired jonin froze.

Shizune gulped. So Kurenai had been right.

* * *

"Tell me you're joking."

"I'm afraid I'm not."

The jonin's lone charcoal eye widened considerably with something closely resembling fear.

In all the years she had known him, she had seen Hatake Kakashi face fifty-feet tall Bijuu and S-ranked shinobi three times his size without blinking an eye but for the first time in her life, the Copy Ninja truly looked frightened.

"You mean to tell me that…" he echoed weakly as Sakura lovingly stroked his silvery spikes, cooing how "soft and wonderful" they felt, "Sakura's…in love with me? Thanks to some jutsu you found in a _children's_ book?"

The dark-haired medic wrung her hands. "I'm really sorry, Kakashi. I never meant to get you or Sakura involved, and I never meant to test it out until I found a counter-jutsu!" She collapsed again. "And I don't have time now, thanks to this mission from Tsunade-sama."

Nervously backing away from his pink-haired student, who had progressed to nuzzling his neck, Kakashi tried to detach himself from the part that was screaming bloody murder back to the rational, analytical side of him that had saved his hide on so many occasions. "Do you know how the jutsu works? That might help us in figuring out a cure."

"Kurenai might, but she left on a solo to Kiri yesterday."

He cursed internally. "Could I have a look at the scroll then? My Sharingan might be able to decipher the mechanism behind the jutsu."

Shizune shook her head. "It's too risky. You might fall under its influence too, and I think we've already caused enough havoc for one night."

"Hokage-sama should be notified about this."

"No!" she yelled, before getting a grip of herself.

Kakashi gave her an incredulous look. "We have to." his voice was markedly raised, signalling at the usually laconic Copy Ninja's growing alarm. "We can't just leave Sakura and me in this…this…state! What will people think!"

Trying to break the tension in the air, Shizune joked, "What's wrong with Sakura? Not your type?"

The fierce glare he sent her extinguished her lame attempt at humour. She hung her head. "Please. I don't want her to know."

The male jonin shook his head. "What were you…" He sighed. There was only one explanation why Shizune would be messing around with a love jutsu like this, and Kakashi didn't need to have been a genius to know why. Feeling a slight jolt of pity for his long-time friend, he replied, "I'll make you a deal. I won't tell the Hokage about this for as long as you're on this mission, so you'll have about a week to think about a cure. But if you still haven't found a solution by then, I'll have to spill the beans."

Despite herself, she couldn't help a small smile; she supposed the solution was quintessential Kakashi; pragmatic and effective, but with the extra hint of compassion so often lacking in shinobi. And it was more than what she had expected from him. "Accepted. So in the meantime, will you be alright looking after Sakura?"

Letting out another of what he suspected would be the first of many sighs that week, Kakashi swallowed. "I suppose…I have a new girlfriend."

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Pakkun's sleepy eyes were wide open with disbelief as he took in the sight of the pink-haired kunoichi snuggling into a very reluctant Kakashi's embrace. "You're going to be her boyfriend for a week?"

"Just a make-believe one," he retorted snappishly, just in case the pug was getting the wrong idea. "Until Shizune can come up with a counter-jutsu."

Pakkun continued eyeing her dubiously. "She's not going to be staying here is she? I like the couch."

Kakashi exhaled heavily. "Try reasoning that with her…"

* * *

**A/N**: What on earth has Kakashi gotten himself into?! How are Naruto, Sasuke, Tsunade and the rest of the village going to react when they find about Kakashi and Sakura's new "romance"? Will Shizune be able to find a counter-jutsu? Love it or hate it, please drop a review! Concrit and feedback are most welcome Apologies as well if it's a departure from my usual style of work, but work on Omiai is going very slowly (especially since I started work) and the mood tends to get very serious and intense. Been needing something to lighten up with as a distraction.

**PS** In case you didn't catch the little hint up front, 'Ai' is the Japanese kanji for love. Gaara has this kanji tattooed on his forehead


	2. Chapter 2

**Lovebug**

**A/N**: Wow, I can't believe the amazing response this story has gotten; 12 reviews and 23 alerts in a fortnight? Take a bow, everyone.

Much love to: the unregistered wolf animagus, briarleaves, KakaSaku4ever, sasusaku3623649, quiltedcat, CaptainGorganus, harvestangel99, Laurie, Pixychick84 and agata for the lovely reviews and the numerous favs/alerts.

Last time out, we saw Kakashi agreeing to "boyfriend" Sakura for a week while Shizune tries to figure out a counter-jutsu to the love jutsu Sakura is under. What will happen when the rest of Konoha finds out?

**Chapter 2 – DAY ONE**

_Brrrrinnnnggg! A ramen a day keeps the medic away!_ _Brrriiinnnngggg_! _A ramen a day keeps the medic away! Brrriiiinnnnggg!_

Groggily, Kakashi blindly reached out a hand to slam shut the neon orange custom-made alarm clock Naruto had gifted him for his last birthday before the insane trilling and idiotic 'proverb' of the day made him any crankier than what he already felt. The room was still swathed in semi-darkness, although a sliver of golden light was visible from the crack in the curtains.

Stumbling heavily to the bathroom, Kakashi fumbled in the darkness for the handle. He tugged it open.

It didn't budge.

He tugged it again.

It still remained fast.

"Go away!"

"Sakura!" He snapped. "What are you doing there?" He had almost forgotten about the new live-in addition to his household he had acquired last night.

"Showering your dogs, of course!" Her sarcasm wasn't lost on him. Kakashi frowned. Sakura sounded exactly like her normal self – had the jutsu worn off?

He rapped the door. "I need to take a shower."

"You'll just have to wait your turn then."

He spluttered in annoyance. "But it's already 7.05," he couldn't help whining almost petulantly. "I always shower at 7.05." Contrary to expectations, Kakashi; although it was hardly known among his friends, was actually a stickler for routine. Everyday, he woke up at exactly 7.00 am. At exactly 7.05 am every day, he had a hot shower. By 7.18 am, he had finished dressing and was out of the house on the way to the cenotaph. He would stand and stare at the memorial stone, losing himself in past memories for ages before slowly drifting off to the training grounds or whatever mission he had for the day, always taking care to be exactly two hours and twenty three minutes late for every appointment he had scheduled. It was what he had been doing for years.

It irked him severely whenever anything or anyone threatened to disrupt his little routine. It was why he rarely had guests over. Or girls.

Dragging himself back to bed, he piled the covers back on moodily. Looks like this whole girlfriend business was going to be more (to borrow the Nara men's favourite phrase) troublesome than he'd thought.

At precisely 7.28 am, Sakura sauntered out of the steaming bathroom wrapped up like a Grecian goddess in one of his towels, little droplets of water falling by the hundreds on his floorboards. "Sorry Kashi-kun," she giggled, giving him a brilliant smile that completely lit up her viridian gaze. "I guess I got a bit carried away. By the way, do you own any decent toiletries? I had to use Pakkun's shampoo for my hair, and I haven't done that in ages!"

Kakashi didn't know what was more outrageous: the fact that it was 7.28 am and he was now officially 10 minutes late to the cenotaph, or the ridiculous nickname she had just used on him. What happened to good old-fashioned sensei? He was so annoyed at the mess she had caused to his meticulously thought-out schedule that he failed to take in the delicious way his rather scanty towel clung to her hardly-seen curves, or the small rivulets of water making their way down her long, slim legs.

He stormed into the bathroom, muttering darkly before suppressing another roar of frustration. She had used up the last of his toothpaste.

* * *

"This is a joke right?"

A sense of irony washed over him as he watched his blonde student echo the very words he had choked out last night.

"Sorry, Naruto. It's not."

The Kyuubi container's face changed from a sickly-grey to ashen white. He turned to Sasuke, his bright blue eyes beseeching him to tell him that it was all a delayed April Fool's joke or some elaborate bet they had made.

If only it was as simple as all that.

Growling loudly, Sakura possessively slung his hand across her shoulders. "I don't know what you're so grouchy about, Naruto. Kashi-kun and I are together, ne anata?" Her voice softened to another girlish giggle as she gave the masked jonin a flirtatious look.

Kakashi swallowed again, before nodding weakly.

Sasuke's face was as impassive as ever, but his onyx eyes regarded them warily. Kakashi felt a hint of worry; if anyone were smart enough to blow their cover, it would be the Uchiha protégé. Thankfully, he merely replied, "I suppose congratulations are in order then."

"Teme!" Naruto exploded next to him, absolutely stunned at their teammate's blasé acceptance. "You can't just let Kakashi-sensei steal Sakura-chan away from you! I thought…I thought you wanted her to have your babies!"

An uncomfortable silence filled the air, and Kakashi coughed discreetly.

Sasuke shrugged his broad shoulders nonchalantly. "She is accounted for now, and there are other girls in the village whom will be suitable. We've wasted enough time, it's time to begin our morning training."

From the purplish hue Naruto's face had become, he was sure the whiskered young man was dying to let out a torrent of protests but he meekly followed the Uchiha heir back to the open field of Training Ground Three. Feeling slightly guilty as he watched their retreating backs, he gripped Sakura closer to him and walked slowly after them.

"It's okay teme, I guess you always have me."

Perking up his ears, Kakashi snickered behind his mask.

* * *

Naruto let out a tremendous burp, patting his oversized orange belly with great satisfaction as he winked heartily at Teuchi. "That was great, ochan! One more bowl of char siu ramen, please!"

The old man laughed. "I don't think so, Naruto. You look ready to explode."

His sky-blue eyes widened. "But I've only had nine bowls."

Kakashi stifled a smile beneath his mask as he quietly placed his chopsticks alongside his empty bowl. Next to him, Sakura did the same.

"It's on the house, Hatake-san," Ayame flashed a brilliant smile at Kakashi. Ever since she had been lucky enough to glimpse his maskless face several years ago, the brunette had taken a great shine to the jonin and he had never had to pay for anything at Ichiraku's, no matter how many bowls he ate. It was why he almost never ate anywhere else these days.

"Aren't you paying for me, Kashi-kun?"

His hand, halfway tucked inside his jonin trousers pocket froze. Ayame had frozen too.

Mistaking his silence for indignation, Sakura huffed. "It's only polite for a boyfriend to pay for his girlfriend's meal, anata. Even if he did eat for free."

CRASH!

Ayame had dropped the stack of ramen bowls she had been holding, but she seemed not to notice or care. Instead, her eyes were narrowed at a visibly uncaring Sakura.

Kakashi resisted the urge to sink lower into his seat. _There goes my free ramen. _

* * *

CRASH!

He was really going to have to invest in a pair of earmuffs after this.

Kakashi winced as Tsunade's fist ripped through the thick, wooden desk like kunai through flesh, a horrible creaking sounding as the wooden boards splintered from the force of her punch. But even the ferociousness of her hit was nothing compared to the fire in her amber eyes that threatened to devour him like a Choji eating yakiniku.

"You bribed her."

"Nope."

"Blackmailed her."

"Nope."

"Threatened her."

"Nope."

"Knocked her up."

"_Definitely_ not."

"KUSO!" She thumped her fist again on the remnants of the wooden splinters. "I won't give up!" Standing up, Tsunade slapped a 1000 ryo note onto the cracked surface. "I bet 1000 ryo it has something to do with Icha Icha!"

Kakashi eyed the little green piece of paper with as much disinterest as he dared. "Believe me, Hokage-sama. Sakura-chan and I are actually (cough, please excuse me, Hokage-sama) in (cough) love."

Tsunade grunted. "I can't let you go without making at least one bet. I'll bet 1,000 ryo it won't last more than a week."

His eye creased with amusement. "In that case, make it 10,000 ryo."

The Hokage was momentarily stunned into silence before she quickly recovered; her eyes now alight with a manic gleam he usually associated with her annual Kill Jiraiya and Naruto Day. "Yosh, you're on brat! There's no way my student would put up with your perverted ways for more than a week."

Normally, Kakashi would have balked from such a challenge but this time, the silver-haired jonin firmly crushed his fingers against the Hokage's while trying to hide the smirk under his mask.

This was one bet he couldn't wait to win. He did feel a twinge of guilt that he was cashing in on Sakura's misfortune, but quickly brushed it aside. By the time Tsunade found out about the love jutsu, Kakashi would have already spent the 10,000 ryo on the latest Icha Icha Heaven – Collector's Edition.

Swigging another generous gulp of sake from the glass she had poured him, Kakashi added, "And while you're at it, loser has to give the winner a foot massage."

* * *

**A/N**: Did anyone catch the SasaNaru hint? All in the name of humour people - I don't actually ship them.


End file.
